Archery Was A Good Choice

You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeed Actively working to acheive what you want, you are skillful in many areas. You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding. You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force. An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people. You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor. People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all. You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone. Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Lessons From Arrows

Learning archery has been very interesting. One of the things that I am learning is how to choose the proper arrow. This is one thing I never anticipated. I thought most arrows were pretty much interchangeable. I was very wrong. The right arrow for your bow is almost as individual as each person’s bow set up.

One of the most important factors in choosing the proper arrow is “spine”. This refers to how ridged the arrow shaft is. The thing is that an arrow that does not have enough spine will flex too much and not have a good trajectory and if one is real weak it could break as it leaves the bow and cause all kinds of problems. Based on that statement you would think that an arrow with a lot of spine would be good, sort of the more the better, but that is not the case. An arrow with to much spine will leave the bow and will not flex enough sending the arrow shooting in the wrong direction, usually down. So a good arrow should have enough spine to hold up under pressure but not so much that it will not flex properly when pressure is applied during the release.

When I was reading this I could not help but think that there was a parallel here with our walk with Yeshua. In our daily walk we need to be grounded and strong in our faith by reading the scripture. This will keep us from breaking when times get tough and the pressure is on. Yet we need to be sensitive enough, in our prayers, to that still small voice to recognize when He is leading us in a certain direction. Our lives are filled with pressures all the time and he will use them to fulfill His love if we are sensitive enough to heed His call.

The Healing Starts

Well, we laid Samuel’s body to rest Saturday at Bear Creek Cemetery where his great grandparents are already buried and where his grandparents will be buried when they pass. Birdie and I have plots there as well. I am glad he is buried with family and not in a city plot where he would be forgotten if we had to move away from here. Finally having his funeral was somewhat of relief and burden off of our shoulders, yet it lends an act of finality and reality to this nightmare. We are also going to go to a memorial service at the hospital in May. Each year the hospital holds a service for the parents that have lost a child in the past year and we have been invited. I think this will be the first chance we have to meet with other people who have lost a child.

One of the interesting things I have learned from my mom was that his first name was the same as my great uncle’s. This great uncle was more like my mother’s father because he and my great aunt raised my mom. So in effect Samuel Earl was named after two great grandfathers.

The outpouring of love from our friends has been helpful as well. I am not sure how many times I have cried while reading the comments left here in the past week and a half. One of the things I have had a hard time with is finding time to get alone and pray and seek G_d in all of this. Birdie is now almost pushing me to get a hobby that would allow me to do this. I have a hard time with talking unless I am doing something, so I am taking up the one hobby that has interested me for years and never felt I had the resources to do it. I have always thought that archery was a powerful yet graceful sport, one requiring strength and precision to be good at. So I am taking up archery in order to give myself something to do when I just need to do something physical and need to pray.


P.S. Birdie has started writing again, it will be sporadic at first but she feels the need to talk about things.

Thank You

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and prayers. I also wish to thank those who put up prayer requests on their blogs. They have meant a lot to Birdie and I over the past few days and will go into the memory box we are putting together for Samuel. Today was a rough day for me as it was the first day back at work after losing Samuel. I am not sure when things will get easier, but I am sure He has a plan and I am holding onto His promise that He would not forsake us. Yet is still hard not to question Him at this time because the loss seems senseless. Why bring us to such heights of joy and expectation only to have them dashed on the rocks? The answer to that question I doubt I will have this side of Heaven.

I also ask you to continue praying for Birdie as we found out in all of this that she has type 2 diabetes. She may have had this long before the baby was conceived and we never knew. We do believe that this was not a contributing factor to Samuel’s death, as the doctor did not think it was, but it is a continuing health concern for Birdie.

A Little Blessing

Samuel was a ray of hope. Birdie and I had thought for some time that we could not have any more children. When we found out she was pregnant with him there was much rejoicing because we longed to have more (and we still do). Birdie had finally gave every last bit of her desire up to Yeshua (something I had already done) and then He blessed us. He was the most opinionated baby we have ever had. He liked having room and would fight for it. If we pushed him he would push back. He especially liked being talked too, and would reposition himself just to listen. He also had opinions on what kind of music we listened to. In the short time he was here he was a great blessing to the entire family and we will miss him dearly.

Thank you everyone who have prayed for us, we are really feeling the love here. It is by His grace alone that I am still functional right now, which is a good thing as the other four need their dad. I think that the hardest part is planning a funeral at I time when we should be experiencing joy. We are close to finalizing the plan but it is just harder than I could imagine. He will be buried with family out in Jefferson, TX.

Grief…

That is all Birdie and I can feel right now. For two days Birdie could feel little or no movement from the baby. This morning Birdie woke up to a contraction, the mucus plug coming out and a very bloody discharge. I took it upon myself to take Birdie to the hospital where the worst fear any parents could have was realized. Samuel Earl was not alive. He is with Yeshua now and we are at a loss to understand why. The doctors think it may be due to a viral infection as there was a lot of calcification in his liver according to the sonogram. There is not much else to say right now the pain is still too fresh.

I Am Not Sure We Are Going To Make It…

That is until May 2nd. That is when Birdie is due. She is carrying the baby real low and she says it hard to walk now. We are in that final month now that the baby could be born at any time. We are thinking we won’t make it another month. This baby will not be born in May it will be born in April. Be praying that all will go well and that I will not be at work when she does go into labor.