Making An Appeal

I have been considering what to write for the past few days and the toll working two jobs has just sort of left me flat. I have been considering posting some advice I left over at Serena’s blog a few weeks ago and I think I will do it now. One of the reasons I had not posted it here is context. The post was in reply to a woman who felt convicted that she should allow G_d determine the size of her family. The problem was that here husband was not on board. The other problem was that it seemed one sided in that it was advice to the ladies and not to men. But the more I thought about it the more I was convinced that there is some advice for the men on this subject as well. I will post it after the advice to the ladies.

"Justine,
You are in a very difficult situation. Family size is one of those blessings that G_d actually will let us determine to some degree. If we refuse to allow him to bless us in that way then He will honor that, but my question has always been why would we place a limit on G_d? On to your question on getting pregnant without your husband’s heart being in it. It most assuredly would be wrong. G_d has placed him as the head of the household and his decisions are final. The anger and mistrust that would happen if you put yourself in a position to deceive your husband about weather or not you would get pregnant would cause problems in your marriage. With that out of the way your submission to his authority does not mean you do not have options. First no method of birth control other than abstinence (not really an option) or either one of you being surgically sterilized is perfect. He needs to understand this because of the second part of my point.
First go ahead and surrender your will to G_d on family size. That means you personally are doing nothing to prevent conception. Then you make your choice known to your husband, lay out your case before him including scriptural references and any other information you can give him regarding your choice. Let him make the decision based on all of the evidence. If he is persuaded then hallelujah, if he is not let him know you will submit to his authority but it will be his responsibility to ensure that no more children are conceived. If he does not wish to do this then he will have to understand any time the two of you have marital relations then a child could be conceived because you have given your will on the subject to G_d.This is from a man’s perspective. Either way you have won because you have submitted your will and allowed G_d to work His will. If two children are all that will have rejoice in those two, If G_D works in your husband’s heart and he gives over his will as well then rejoice in the number of children you are blessed with whether it is one or twenty. He will provide the resources that you will need to provide for them."

This advice will work on any subject that a woman finds herself in attempting to follow G_d and submitting to her husband’s authority.

O.K. men, now for your part, if your wife comes to you and wishes to discuss something that has been laid on her heart and in convicted that this is the correct biblical way to go then you have an obligation to hear her out. Get all the evidence from her (if she has done her homework she will have it ready for you) let her know that her desire to follow G_d is important to you and prayerfully consider what she has said. If it will take more time to make a decision than during that conversation then let her know and keep her updated on your progress. Above all be a man and make a decision, do not keep her in limbo forever.

If after prayerfully considering your wife’s appeal your decision is contrary to your wife’s desire give her clear concise reasons backed up with biblical evidence to support your reasoning. Then it will be up to you follow what you have laid out. As in the above case you cannot force your wife to use contraceptives. The burden will be entirely upon your head because to cause your wife to willfully do anything to prevent a pregnancy on her part would be sin.

Although I will say that the vast majority of times that a wife will appeal to her husband in this way will be successful because a husband that follows the Lord will be able to see if what his wife is appealing to him about is from Yeshua.